A POST BY DON CHARLES: "THE DUMB DORA AWARD FOR ASS-BACKWARDS ACTIVISM"

Don Charles kindly allowed me to post his excellent article on my blog.  It is incisive and beautifully written, and deserves to be widely distributed by those who really care about full and equal civil rights for LGBT people, as well as their affirmation as being normal, just as God made them.

Here is his article:

The Dumb Dora Award for Ass-Backwards Activism 

"Last week, I wrote about Billy Lucas, a 15-year-old kid in Indiana who took his own life after enduring years of bullying for being Gay," wrote self-described sexpert Dan Savage in his most recent syndicated column. "(Then) I learned about another teenager (that) recently took his own life. Cody J. Barker was a 17-year-old high school student . . . countless other kids have committed suicide because they couldn't picture a future for themselves. That's why my boyfriend and I launched the It Gets Better Project . . . we made a short video about our lives and invited other LGBT adults to make and upload videos about their lives. The response has been overwhelming."

I'll say it has! This initative has swept through cyberspace like wildfire. Ellen DeGeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, Kathy Griffin, Sarah Silverman, Anne Hathaway, Ari Gold and Perez Hilton are just some of the celebrities who've jumped on the It Gets Better Project bandwagon. The ACLU's Anthony Romero and other Gay staffers from that organization have also taped encouraging messages for Gay youth. The YouTube channel Savage created for these messages is reportedly getting hundreds of video uploads per day.

"It would be great to see videos that give Gay young people a picture of the lives they can have if they just hang in there," Savage suggested. "LGBT kids who don't know any LGBT adults need to see that Gay adults lead happy and rewarding lives." Many, if not most of the videos posted have followed his suggestion. Gay people have seldom looked gayer than they do now, painting rosy pictures of life after liberation from the homophobic torture chambers many of us remember as childhood.

The Liberal blogosphere is now awash with praise for Dan Savage. You certainly can't visit a Gay blog or website without finding numerous posts that sing his praises and/or spotlight a new "It Gets Better" video inspired by his example. As for Savage himself, he's busy promoting the campaign on as many TV and radio outlets as will book him.

Why is it that just about everything Dan Savage does has the effect of splashing his name and face all over the media? Not to call the man's motives into question(although I've done so in the past), but I suspect the It Gets Better Project will benefit his reputation far more than it will benefit terrorized and traumatized children. To illustrate what I mean, let me reach back into my own past, and call up some unfriendly voices:

"Dance, faggot, dance! Dance faster! If you dance fast enough, maybe I won't have to kick your skinny faggot ass."

"You want me to stop now, punk? Have you had enough yet? Then you'd better admit that you ain't nothin' but a b*tch-ass p*ssy! Admit it now, before I kill you."

"Donny, you just don't belong here."

The first quote comes from a grade school bully who was in the habit of thrashing me when I was seven years old. He'd force me to dance the Watusi while other kids watched and laughed. The second quote comes from another thug who used to meet me on the way home from high school. He thought I was his personal kung fu practice dummy, and he always brought his friends along to practice! First he'd karate kick me in the head a couple of times, and then the rest of them would have a go at me. I must've been about fourteen at the time.

The third quote comes from a supervisor I worked under at my former job. He had a mean streak, and my effeminate nature seemed to bring it out in him. His taunt wasn't nearly as crude as those I suffered as a child, but believe me, it still hurt! A few months later, another supervisor said the same thing to me(for the full story, read my five-part memoir "Diary of a Gay Wage Slave"). It was a little over a year ago that I got this dubious job performance feedback; I'm now in my 50s.

I've had much uglier things than that said to me as a grown-up. I've been made fun of while riding city busses. I've been verbally attacked by streetcorner evangelists. A vicious cyber-stalker is harassing me right now; but I won't bore you with any more sordid details. I shared these unpleasant experiences with you just to make this point: It doesn't always get better.

Much as we hate to admit it, gender-based bullying can follow us into our adult years. Most dainty Gay men, most butch Lesbians and most Transfolk(especially Transwomen) never break free from insults, ridicule, taunts, threats, stalkings, beatings, ostracism and humiliation, no matter how old they get. LGBT status for them, and for me, can seem like a life sentence at hard labor. What we labor so hard at is keeping it together under long-term duress. It's not a task for the faint-hearted.

We managed to stave off depression and suicidal thoughts past adolescence, but we can still fall victim to those things as adults; and by the way, suicide isn't just looping a noose around your neck or jumping off a bridge! There are much slower, much more painful and debilitating ways to kill yourself: Ways that involve pills, or needles, or bottles, or unsafe sex, or attraction to lovers who use your body for a toilet or an ashtray or a punching bag.

It only gets better for some Gay people, and generally speaking, they're the kind who are "Straight-acting." It's a whopping big lie that all of us can pass for heterosexual; a good many LGBT folk couldn't act Straight to save their lives . . . and I do mean that literally!

Surfing the Web, I've encountered dozens of mostly white collar Gay men who sit at their keyboards and brag about how easy life has been for them. Life's a piece of sh*t/When you look at it sang Monty Python's Eric Idle years ago, but such is not the case for these folks. They claim to never have been bullied. They say they've never been made to feel unsafe or unloved for being Gay. In fact, they take homosexual orientation so much in stride, they think it's a gas to go around calling themselves "queers". They exchange the Q-word and other vile slurs with their Gay buddies, and they even let heterosexual friends address them that way!

I'm always itching to tell them: You're nothing but a bunch of elitist blockheads! You live charmed lives that you don't even appreciate. Your rarefied "Will and Grace" existence is miles away from the reality most perceptibly Gay or Transgender people face in this world.

Most of us out here are getting screwed without lubricant! Speaking from an international perspective, we're getting the sh*t kicked out of us! We're facing taunts and threats when we walk down the street. We're being thrown in prison just for expressing gender the way we express it. We're being preyed on in prison. We're getting raped, tortured and murdered. We're getting deported from our home countries, or made to flee them. We're being forced into heterosexual marriages. We're being forced out of our jobs and homes. We're having our kids ripped out of our arms by authorities. We're either being driven away from our faith communities, or compelled to hide behind masks in order to maintain access to them. Writer Langston Hughes, who knew a thing or two about wearing masks himself, said it best many years ago in a poem called "Mother To Son":

Life for me ain't been no crystal stair!

It's had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor . . .

bare.

Those of you who've grown accustomed to treading stairs of crystal find it so easy to say something like "it gets better". You've got one Hell of a nerve, peddling that crap to effeminate ten-year-old boys who get p*ssed on in the school restroom, or shoved down a flight of stairs, or chased home by teen thugs wielding baseball bats! You tape your lovely little "It Gets Better" videos, you post them to YouTube, and then you saunter off feeling pleased with yourselves. You're satisfied that you've "made a positive difference." What dedicated child advocates you are! Marian Wright Edelman would kiss every one of you on the lips.

I'll allow that setting yourselves up as role models for desperate LesBiGay kids might do some good, but let's not exaggerate the influence you have. Before they can aspire to a rosy future, they've got to survive their current circumstances; have you considered how very different those circumstances can be from your own? Not just in terms of personal security, but also opportunity: Did you forget that a lot of youngsters still don't have easy access to computers or the Internet? What about them? And what about those who do have easy access, but would be terrified to get caught watching videos like yours?

Suppose there were no access barriers at all: How would these self-congratulatory snippets stop Gay kids from getting bullied? Isn't that what you should be concerned about? Suicide isn't the problem, you know; it's a symptom of the problem. Exactly what have you made better by urging a homosexual or transsexual child to keep a stiff upper lip while suffering abuse? Be honest with yourselves. Instead of "it gets better," aren't you really telling them: "Others had to suffer before you did, darling, and unfortunately, it's your turn now"? How can you get any satisfaction out of making such an impotent statement?

This YouTube fad and all the talk about it being an effective solution to bullying underscores how poorly focused Gay activism is. We consistently go at the task of fighting injustice ass backwards! We brandish our weapons (such as they are) and make a lot of noise doing it, but somehow our weapons are never aimed at the enemy. For example, we train our sights on Capitol Hill and a political process that holds us at arm's length, but we ignore those mega-churches on the hill, where anti-Gay political power is concentrated. We leave our rear flank wide open to attack, and then we wonder why we make so little progress.

Similarly, we avoid engaging with a heterosexist education system that hangs LGBT kids out to dry. Instead, we target the kids themselves, as if the bullying problem were theirs to solve! Not hardly, sugar! It's ours to solve! Children depend on their elders to shield them from harm. However well-meaning they might be, bandwagon initiatives like the It Gets Better Project fail to shield them! At best, they apply a light balm to their wounds before sending them back into brutal conditions. In what other instance would it be OK to let kids keep suffering? What parents group would consider failure to protect their kids an act worth replicating?

The recent rash of Gay teen suicides signals that we're in crisis mode, just like we were during the AIDS epidemic. We need an ACT-UP group that acts up on behalf of LGBT youth safety. We need angry Gay and Transsexual adults who slam down their fists and say: "It isn't enough to tell our kids 'it gets better.' It f*cking isn't enough! We've got to make things better for them right now!"

Good intentions sure ain't enough/

If you can't keep them when the going gets rough/

Good intentions won't get you by/

They'll just become/

Another thing undone/

In your life*

Right now and not later, we must demand that school districts get off the damn dime and get busy transforming elementary, secondary and college campuses into safe spaces for blended gender students. Right now and not later, we must declare war on community insensitivity and opposition to anti-bullying programs. That means going to battle against the source of that insensitivity and opposition!

If we really give a damn about the safety of Gay and Transsexual children, we've got to have the knock-down-drag-out melee

with our religious Right Wing enemies we've been running away from for so long. Not only have Bible bigot groups like Focus on the Family, the American Family Association of Michigan and the Minnesota Family Council actively opposed anti-bullying measures, their demonizing doctrine is the very cause of rabid homophobia and transphobia in our schools! Truth be told, it's the cause of all societal                                                      heterosexism.

If we can subdue these "faith-based" manufacturers of hate even a little bit, a whole lot of what we need to accomplish politically will be easier to accomplish. Facing up to church, synagogue and mosque-based bigotry will better the lives of Gay kids in ways facing a webcam can never do! I daresay old warhorses like me will benefit, too.

I don't resent Gay people lucky enough to have had an easy time of it. I just want to see many more LGBT folk have an opportunity to climb that crystal stairway, and I especially want the youngest among us to have that opportunity. Dammit, people! It's time we started aiming at the right targets! If our aim isn't any good, then there's no sense in carrying a weapon at all.

*excerpt from "Good Intentions" by Nona Hendryx, copyright 1975 Gospel Birds, Incorporated(BMI).

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WHY THE LACK OF EXPRESSED OUTRAGE?

The following article is a very slightly edited version of the one I wrote on 10/29/07:

I can't think of any reason why most all LGBT people, and decent people everywhere, aren't outraged at the fact that our LGBT brothers and sisters being demonized, and denied full and equal civil and sacramental rights! I do think that the outrage is there, but most feel that to express that outrage, and fight for the same civil and sacramental rights as are enjoyed by all other citizens in the U.S., would hammer home a truth that few really want to confront: The fact that many of those whom they consider "friends" would turn on them at a moment's notice if they did insist on those rights, and that LGBT people and allies would have to face their needed "season of suffering" (To use Martin Luther King's apt words.) before those rights are won!

When one is both filled with self-loathing, and when one wants to be accepted, and when one wants friends and allies, it is disconcerting, to say the least, to risk realizing that their "friends" and their "acceptance" are contingent upon LGBT people "keeping and knowing their place." For example, even in churches, many in the congregation know who are Gay, and will embrace them, even giving them responsible positions in those churches, be it as teachers, deacons, music directors, etc.

However, deep down those Gay people fully realize that if they insist on the same rights as the others in that congregation, such as the right to marriage, or even anemic "commitment ceremonies" as a phony substitute for marriage, all hell will break loose, and their "friends" will quickly turn on them, and it takes someone of enormous ego strength to contemplate this reality, and have to face this reality, if he/she wants to be approved by others.

So, the choice comes between adhering to the status quo where LGBT people remain second class citizens, deprived of full and equal civil and sacramental rights and are "allowed" to be conditionally accepted and used on those terms, OR insist on being treated as everyone else with all the rights and privileges accorded others and know that their "friends'" gloves will come off and they will betray their true colors and turn on them, thereby profoundly hurting them emotionally, and have that hurt culminate in their being prevented from engaging in those ministries to which they have been called in the church; being similarly betrayed and emotionally, if not physically, hurt in secular society by many who either don't go to church or who do go to church who discriminate against LGBT people, even to the point of violence, all the while thinking that they are doing God a favor by so doing.

One of the worst mistakes we can make is to be inauthentic so that we can win others' approval, and be accepted, fully knowing that that "acceptance" is contingent upon that inauthenticity, even carrying that inauthenticity to the point where many Gay people have not only internalized homophobia but externalize that homophobia so that they demonize and condemn others who dare to assert their right to sit at the same table, partaking of the same food, as everyone else.

Jesus says, "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Mark 8:36) This admonition isn't only given for the benefit of Christians, but for all people who seek to live an authentic, fulfilling life!

If you're liked and accepted for being something other than who you are, and you compound that inauthenticity by self-loathing that manifests itself in your own misery, and you then further compound that self-loathing by expressing homophobia to others who do seek to live free and equal lives, you are not only committing a great sin against yourself, but you are committing a great sin against the truth and against others, thereby helping to retard the realization of full and equal civil and sacramental rights for all LGBT people.

This retardation can also be seen to take the form of begging, and being grateful, for crumbs in the form of incrementalism: for example, settling for Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions rather than fight for full marriage rights; voting for a politician because, although he/she still demeans you, he/she seems to demean you less than another politician; justifying voting for reactionary candidates by viewing oneself as not being a single issue voter (In this connection, see "The Pathology of the Gay Conservative".); justifying homophobic religion by attending homophobic churches, and giving credibility and justification to homophobic clergy by attending their churches and putting money in their collection plates which also help get their message out how Gay people are responsible for assorted ills in society, such as the breakdown of the family, the ephebophilia scandals that have rocked the RC Church, and for Hurricane Katrina.

When the chickens come home to roost due to selling out one's integrity, selling out one's brothers and sisters, and selling out the principle of full and equal civil and sacramental rights for all, and LGBT people are then forced to confront the ugly truth regarding the cost paid by, and incurred due to, those sell outs, maybe it will only be then that Jesus' statement will hit home: when one sells his/her soul, when you sell yourself out, when you sell others out, you will reap the whirlwind of having sacrificed justice for living a life of illusion bereft of authenticity, justice, and love.

And, when one finally realizes that fact, despite living this inauthentic life, he/she has pushed back the clock when full and equal civil and sacramental rights could have been achieved, then he/she will be far more motivated to become meaningfully activist.

Never be afraid! Never unduly care what others think of you! And never, never, never, seek to curry favor with others by selling yourself short or selling yourself out, and/or selling our brothers and sisters out for any reason!

For to do so is no less a sin than than are the expressions of hate out of the mouths and actions of the most virulent homophobic elements in our society! Because, you see, that hate expressed by those homphobic elements is largely fueled, and made possible, because of those LGBT people and "allies" who favor the status quo so as to be somewhat "accepted" and, like all bullies, religious, political, and other homophobes are emboldened both by our silence, as well as by those who curry favor with them by selling themselves and others out, and by settling for incrementalism at the expense of justice for everyone....

Only when our outrage is expressed, when meaningful grassroots activism occurs that is contingent upon taking to heart Jesus' admonition that we are never to sell out our souls, so that LGBT people and allies demand that LGBT people be treated with the same dignity as accorded everyone else, that full and equal civil and sacramental rights will be won, and not a moment before!

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BRIEF VIDEO OF MICHANGELO SIGNORILE DEALING WITH A PROFESSING "CHRISTIAN" HOMOPHOBE

Please watch this brief video of a professing "Christian" calling in to the Michelangelo Signorile show in regard to Gay youth suicides.

Notice (and I'm sure you will) the arrogance, one-dimensional, and uncritical thinking of the caller whose evasions in the face of rationality, like most all professing "Christian" and religious homophobes, represent the same kind of evasions and mind-set as possessed by White Supremacists and haters of all kinds.

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SMUG HOMOPHOBIC RHETORIC THAT CAN CAUSE LGBT SUICIDE

Please watch the whole video to see not only smug homophobia in action, but see how words such as these are very likely to cause untold suffering and even suicides among LGBT youth and adults:

PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK

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GAY TEEN SUICIDES AND THEIR ROLE IN ACHIEVING EQUAL LGBT RIGHTS

The tragedy of the catalysts likely to greatly drive the LGBT Civil Rights struggle forward, akin to the revulsion that all decent people felt during the African American Civil Rights struggle when Bull Connor turned the police dogs and the fire hoses on the demonstrators for the whole world to see, is the publicity surrounding the suicides of Gay teenagers such as these whose pain, caused by others' homophobia, was so great that they were driven to suicide.  [See here and here.]

It won't be politicians, clergy, or the general public that will enable full and equal civil rights!  Those rights will eventually come from the Courts!

However, jurists, like most people, have their decisions shaped by their own life experiences, by their interpretation of the Constitution, and by the social and historical climates in which they live.  And the public tragedies of suicides such as these can not help but call immediate attention to the tremendous damage that homophobia visits on LGBT youth (and adults), and the cry for full and equal rights in every aspect of society.

Only indecent people, those consumed with hate and/or the politics of exclusion, can fail to not only be moved by these suicides, but fail to demand in any and every venue possible the correct interpretation of the U.S. Constitution that "separate is not equal," and that all citizens of the U.S. are to be treated equally under the law.

It is tragedies such as these suicides that, unlike so many other suicides by LGBT people that are treated with silence, gain tremendous publicity to the degree that they literally shock the public conscience; it is that shock to all decent people's sensibilities that will do more to gain equal rights than anything else that I can think of at this time.

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RHETORICAL VIOLENCE IS ONE SMALL STEP AWAY FROM PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

The ex-wife of the Atlanta megachurch leader accused of coercing young men into having sex with him claimed in divorce papers that the pastor was physically abusive.

Bishop Eddie Long's ex-wife, Dabara Houston, said she was 7½ months pregnant when Long beat her with his fists. She accused her husband of having a "vicious and violent temper," according to a 1985 divorce filing obtained by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

In divorce papers filed in 1985 against embattled Bishop Eddie Long, shown Sunday at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Atlanta, his wife said he was abusive and that she endured "cruel treatment."

Long and Houston married in 1981 and have one child, a son. They divorced in 1985. Houston said she endured "cruel treatment" and "had to flee [the couple's home] in order to ensure their safety," according to the court papers from Fulton County Superior Court in Georgia.

[For the full article, see here.]

When people are stridently homophobic, it's a good bet that they possess many emotional/sexual problems that can manifest themselves in many ways.

Rhetorical violence is but one small step away from, and can easily lead to, physical violence; that physical violence may or may not have as its object the object of that rhetorical violence!

Social Psychologists have long known that when a person is discriminatory against one minority group, there's a good chance he/she is discriminatory against one or more other minority groups.

And, in a society still characterized by its fair share of patriarchy, women are in this sense a minority group; wives are all too often viewed by their husbands as mere possessions, and domestic abuse is not at all uncommon in such a society.

Rev. Eddie Long, a strident homophobe who has been accused of having sexual relations with young men, also seems to have had a problem dealing with violence with at least one woman in his life.

In addition, even after all these years, I never cease to be amazed at how so many seemingly limited human beings can listen to displays such as the following and take them seriously, as we see here with the Rev. Eddie Long in action:



As I wrote in an article entitled, Why Every Church Must Be Open And Affirming:

The seemingly oracular pronouncements regarding GLBT people and their relationships by those who parade their ignorance as “Godliness” have helped lead to the suicides, bashings, and murders of countless GLBT people. Indeed, in this connection, it is estimated that gay youth have at least three times the suicide rate of non-gay youth.

Make no mistake, every drop of blood shed by GLBT people either through suicide, bashing, or murder, are on the hands of all those religious leaders, their followers, and their allies who spew forth their ignorance, prejudice, and hate against GLBT people and their relationships! These wolves in sheep’s clothing take the Bible, God’s love letter to His children, and selectively and perversely use it as a club to condemn others, and deny GLBT people full inclusion in the Church and in society.

The tradition-bound parts of the Church have so indoctrinated people, many of whom have never even set foot in a house of worship, that many people even disown their own children when they “come out” and divulge their sexual orientation to those whom they thought unconditionally loved and cherished them. There are many children living on the streets because their own parents trusted ignorant clergy and their followers over their God-given duty and privilege to nurture and embrace their own children!

The nature of those people in congregations that take seriously the displays such as the one seen here, and the one seen in the September 26th post, are those who are very likely to mirror the homophobia of their pastor that causes more harm to people than they could ever fathom.

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TOXIC RELIGION AND SELF-LOATHING

A little over a year ago, I wrote the following article in the online magazine, Whosoever that I think is appropriate to reprint at this time:

It must be emphasized that there is literally a world of difference between having a relationship with God and one's adherence to the construction of man-made religion! A relationship with God defines love and compassion as its essence, and when legalism and perfectionism enter the framework and dialogue of religiosity we can be sure that "religion" has trumped any "relationship with God" that that person may or may not have had.

Just because a person is a member of the clergy, or is a professing Christian lay person, doesn't necessarily mean that he or she has a relationship with God! We can safely say that he or she might be "religious," but that might well be far different from his/her having a relationship with God!

For example, many people have a relationship with God through one or more of the Church's sacraments, and that is authentic and meaningful for them; there is absolutely nothing wrong with having the sacraments be a vehicle or a vessel upon which to base and reinforce that relationship.

Others may have a relationship with God that is experiential apart from sacramental worship, and that, too, is authentic and meaningful for them; there is absolutely nothing wrong with having that experience or series of experiences be ones upon which to base and reinforce that relationship.

In other words, in Christianity, as in life, one size doesn't fit all!

However, regardless of the dynamics of one's relationship with Christ, Christianity is based solely on the Person of Christ!

Christianity knows nothing of man-made constructs that seek to replace Christ as the center of our lives! Neither the Bible nor any other man-made artifact is to substitute for the Person of Jesus in the lives of those whom He chose from the foundation of the world (e.g. Ephesians 1:4); no authentic teaching and preaching is to have as its subject anything other than Christ!

Jesus clearly tells us how to live the Christian life in the Gospels; His teaching is elaborated primarily by the Apostle Paul who is the main Apostle who explicates the Gospel (primarily in the Book of Romans and the Book of Galatians) that Christians, disciples of Christ, are to preach and live out.

As I've written many times, the only Gospel to be found in Christianity is comprised of: Grace (God's unmerited favor to us); Faith (trusting God over and above seen circumstances); Love (agape love which is love not based upon one's feelings but upon an act of the will independently of how one feels); Peace ("cessation of againstness," where we are at peace both with God and with others to the degree that the latter is possible); Reconciliation (with God and with each other to the degree that the latter is possible); Inclusiveness (where we recognize that we are all brothers and sisters who are equal in the eyes of God).

The purity of the Gospel reflects the purity of Christ, and to be a follower of Christ requires adherence to the Gospel that is implanted in the hearts of each and every one of Christ's disciples. And the ability to adhere to the Gospel is made possible by the Holy Spirit Who is implanted within us by God!

Anyone who perverts the Gospel does a grave injustice to the life, teachings, and ministry of Jesus; causes untold harm to vulnerable people in society who are victimized by the perverters of the Gospel; causes untold harm to people who are gullible enough to believe what the perverters call "Christianity," comprising and manifesting the false gospel of legalism and perfectionism; sticks a knife in the heart of God with each and every utterance and/or action that reflects that perversion.

Toxic religion in the name of "Christianity" has as one of its major consequences the understandable perception by many decent and intelligent people that a Christian is some harsh, censorious, judgmental freak who obsesses over what I call "The Theology of Genital Placement!" In the view of these perverters of the Gospel, genital placement becomes the litmus test of one's morality and one's standing with God, which tells us a lot about their own likely emotional/sexual insecurities and/or pathologies!

And this toxicity has infected most of the institutional Church; the perception many people have of Christians and of Christianity; the framing of what is called "Christianity" in most of the institutional Church and in the public square; the psychological, social, political, and even judicial dimensions of our lives.

Toxic religion has most notably spawned generations of guilt-ridden people who are made to feel that God doesn't love them because they are Gay! Although nothing could be further from the truth, the big lie perpetrated by the perverters of the false gospel of legalism and perfectionism has so infused our culture that the psyches of virtually everyone, Gay and Straight, have been affected to the degree that even seemingly reasonable people have come to accept many clergy's preconceived prejudices having to do with a distorted view of love and sexuality, and their perverted theology of genital placement that seems to be the hub of the wheel that defines their own form of what they mistakenly call "Christianity."

"Gay Liberty University Alum Recalls Repression at School" [Currently a dead link.] is about a young gay man, Jud Brown, who went to Liberty University founded by the late Jerry Falwell in 1971, and tells a bit about his struggles with being a Christian and being gay. It is not a particularly good article, but it's worth briefly exploring, given the destructive impact that toxic religion has had on him and on countless others.

I'm grateful to my good friend, Don Charles who blogs at "Christ, The Gay Martyr", for forwarding this article to me, and that I hope you will read in its entirety!

Here are some key excerpts from that article to which I want to call your attention:

Brown said there were other gay students at Liberty University who were having difficulty coping with their sexual orientation. He said he found gay porn on his roommate’s computer after using it one day.

“I’m not proud of it to this day, but because I was so guilt-ridden about my own sexuality, I was very intolerant toward him and I turned him into my [resident advisers],” he said....

Despite the experiences, Brown said he enjoyed his time at Liberty University because the school espoused Christian values that he shares.

“I have Christian values and identify myself as a Christian and there’s a lot of things that I believe that Liberty taught that are right — even though I don’t live up to them sometimes,” he said.

Brown said he doesn’t believe that it’s healthy to be promiscuous, drink to excess or do recreational drugs — values that he said Liberty University teaches. [MY NOTE: Even most atheists believe in living decently; "decency" is not restricted to Christians.]

He also said he enjoyed attending Liberty University because it was controversial and provoked interesting responses when he told people where he attended school....

Brown said he enjoyed his experience at Liberty University so much that, after obtaining his undergraduate degree, he went on to work to obtain a master’s degree in education through the school....

“I’m very comfortable being gay, but to be honest, I have one foot firmly planted in that past, and one foot firmly planted in being OK with being gay,” he said. “I have to kind of balance or find a neutral territory.”

Brown also said Liberty University shouldn’t be blamed for being intolerant of homosexuality.

“It’s a Christian culture and they have their own traditions, they have their own belief structures and you can’t go into a Christian structure and say, ‘You got to be OK with being gay,’” he said. “They don’t believe it.”

This young man's mindset greatly disturbs me! And I'm afraid that he represents not an insignificant number of Gay Christians who are ambivalent about their being able to reconcile (as if there has to be any attempt at reconciliation in the first place) between their being Christian and their being Gay.

Like so many others, he doesn't seem to see that God makes each and every one of us according to His/Her sovereign will, and we are to never chafe under the sovereign choices of God! There is no greater gift that God gives us than the ability to love others and to make a commitment to another human being with whom to share one's life!

This young man while at that university turns in his room mate, believing that his room mate will likely be expelled or, at the very least, be profoundly embarrassed, and he betrays him anyway. This alone says a lot about his degree of self-loathing that he sought to displace by undoubtedly using the defense mechanism of Reaction Formation, in part to likely deflect attention away from his own sexuality which he seemingly viewed at that time as being "sinful." By turning in his room mate, he may have thought that no one would question his own sexuality and, therefore, he acted in this traitorous, despicable, manner.

Also, he is apologizing for Liberty University, ignoring the tremendous harm that Jerry Falwell and that university did, and continue to do, to LGBT people and their families. And, to top it all off, he calls Liberty University "a Christian structure" and says it's not OK in that university for one to say it's OK to be gay because "They don't believe it."

It never seems to occur to him that just because "they don't believe it" doesn't make it true, and doesn't demand confronting within a professing "Christian structure" the lie that one can't be a Christian and also be a Gay man or woman who lives an abundant life as Jesus calls each of us to do.

And, despite his saying, "I'm very comfortable being gay....", his statement doesn't ring true to me, and I doubt that deep down he really believes it either, because he goes on to say, I have one foot firmly planted in that past, and one foot firmly planted in being OK with being gay....“I have to kind of balance or find a neutral territory.”

Toxic Christianity seems to have inculcated within him, and within so many others, the false belief that he feels that he has to "have a kind of balance or find a neutral territory," when that is a false notion and still shows him to believe that there is an inherent contradiction between being a Christian and being Gay.

He fails to recognize that he is already "balanced" in his being a Christian and his being a gay man! Like every other person who has experienced toxicity in his (or her) past, he doesn't have to "have one foot firmly planted in that past," and yet he still does, indicating his not perceiving his God-given "balance" as a Gay Christian.

Self-loathing people don't really believe that God makes each of us according to His sovereign will and, therefore, many feel the need to do something to "balance" their past with their present; their Christianity with their sexuality; the hateful messages "in the name of God" to which they have been exposed and the reality of their own experience of their lives. They don't realize that they are already "balanced" because God created them as balanced, and only they can let others' prejudicial rhetoric and/or actions blind them to and/or interfere with that balance.

And, tragically, many succumb to a falsely perceived lack of balance (often accompanied by despair and often by a whole host of risk taking behaviors) or spend the rest of their lives searching for that balance (also often accompanied by a whole host of risk taking behaviors), not recognizing that the balance they seek they have always possessed because that balance was given to them by God even before they left their mother's womb.

And, to make matters worse for himself, Jud seems to apologize for Liberty University, affirming that it is manifesting Christian virtues and values. Indeed, he even went to graduate school at that university, even after knowing and living through its antipathy toward same-sex love, and after hearing so many of the demagogic diatribes that the late Jerry Falwell visited upon Gay people, their families, and Straight people who were gullible enough to accept his perverted version of Christianity that was and is antithetical to the Gospel.

I don't know this young man, but I was very disturbed by this article and by my distinct feeling that he is not all that comfortable with the integration of his Christian life with his emotional/sexual life. He still seems to be in turmoil, and professes to have evolved to a place that he doesn't seem to occupy.

He strikes me as a person who is likely fraught with guilt and some degree of self-loathing, as he also announces for the world to hear that Liberty University is "a Christian structure," thereby consciously or unconsciously affirming the hateful rhetoric of Jerry Falwell and those of his ilk who falsely teach and preach that Christianity is antithetical to one's being Gay.

How purveyors of homophobia, ignorance, and even hate can be considered to be housed within the Christian paradigm, within "a Christian structure," is a mystery to me!

And whatever struggles, doubts, sufferings, and guilt that the Jud Browns of the world have are not only completely unnecessary, but have been foisted upon them by purveyors of toxic religion, many of whom call themselves "Christians," but who show themselves to know (or care) absolutely nothing about the life, ministry, and teachings of Jesus! And so many tragically believe these purveyors of toxic religion who help cause untold suffering of Gay people; parents to kick their Gay children out of the house; loss of jobs; suicides, assaults, and even murders of Gay people.

And so many people, many of whom are well-meaning, have become so poisoned by this toxic religion, drinking its Kool Aid, that they accept the lies of godless clergy and their followers, and even seek to make excuses for the often hateful clergy and organizational structures that presume to call themselves "Christian," but that seem to have a far greater affinity for the demonic than they have for God!

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IS GOPROUD MADE UP OF A BUNCH OF GAY MASOCHISTS?

The Gay conservative group, GOProud, invited Ann Coulter, who has been known to use the word "fag" and "faggot" to refer to some of those with whom she disagrees, to speak to them, and speak she did.  


Here is an excerpt from her speech:


Marriage "is not a civil right -- you're not black," Coulter told the crowd, building upon an argument that claimed the equal protections provided by the Fourteenth Amendment -- and potentially used to build a case for marriage equality -- were only applicable to black people.


[For the full article, see here.]


When does "conservatism" turn into masochism?  


It seems that Gay audiences who would invite Ann Coulter, let alone who may well have lapped up her vitriol, love to be reviled, and before this event GOProud even touted the hurt that they must have known would be inflicted on them, and is inflicted on all Gay people, as seen by their advertisement of the sold-out event entitled, Homocon 2010.


Just the label "Homocon 2010" should tell us a lot about the seeming masochistic mind-set of these limited human beings who are wittingly or unwittingly playing a role, not only in their own oppression, but in the oppression of other LGBT people!  


In this connection, I'd like to reprint an article I wrote on this subject on May 10, 2007 entitled, The Pathology of the Gay Conservative:

To "conserve" in the political sense, means to adhere to traditions of fiscal responsibility and seek to minimizie the government's intrusion or encroachment on individual rights!  If that is what we meant in today's U.S. by "conservative," that would be a perfectly understandable political position for a rational Gay person to take. However, the unfortunate reality is that what passes for "conservatism" today is diametrically opposed to those very traditional principles!  President Bush inherited an economic surplus and in just a few short years we have come to the point where we have the largest debt that this nation has ever seen.  We invaded a sovereign country based on lies and deceit, having 9/11 cynically used as a pretext to enter a war that I believe was planned before Bush even took office. Moreover, with the initiation of the Patriot Act, suspension of habeus corpus for those viewed as "enemy combatants," and a whole host of other encroachments on our civil liberties, this Administration is anything but "conservative," and has done a great deal to encroach upon our individual liberties, more than ably and willingly abetted by most of the mainstream media that has both uncritically accepted the sound bytes emanating from the self-serving White House, acting as mere stenographers of the political spin of the day, and airing hitherto unthinkable hateful rhetoric from assorted talk show hosts. However, one of the consequences of all of this relatively rapid change in our society is the demonization of LGBT people by the self-described "conservative" forces in this country, and the cowardly capitulation to those forces of the opposing, the Democratic, party that has to appeal to an electorate inundated with what is purported to be "conservative" ideas that are really pure naked hatred dressed in the drag of "conservatism."  So we even have political opponents adopting many of the "ideas" of those who garner votes and market share of audience by frequently hateful rhetoric and the playing of the politics of exclusion, and who feel the need to intrude on others' private lives, deny them dignity and full and equal civil rights, and frame our political sport as one where one can't tell the players without a scorecard and, unfortunately, when it comes to LGBT rights, the scorecard doesn't show either side in a very favorable light.  So, the reality becomes that every decent person who wants to partake of the political process in the U.S. has to support/choose the least of two evils, go into the voting booth, hold his/her nose, and vote! However, when a Gay person aligns him/herself with the political party that runs on a platform of writing an Amendment into the Constitution that would seek to prevent same-sex marriage, that largely demonizes LGBT people, that is quite comfortable with the fact that there are absolutely no federal civil rights protections for LGBT people, assiduously fights "hate crime" legislation (more accurately viewed as legislation against "terrorism," as I have written before), and where LGBT people are viewed as fodder for the purpose of garnering votes, it calls into question what manifestation of self-loathing or self-denigration would foster such an alliance and, even, an allegiance.

As I have previously written, "Being Gay need not be one's top priority, just as being straight is not to be one's top priority. However, when a Gay person aligns him/herself with a political party that has as its platform to prevent same-sex marriage, supports the fact that there are no federal civil rights protections for LGBT people, and is generally hostile to LGBT people, supporting that political party reeks of masochism in my book, and shows that person to be "ignorant and/or mendacious and/or traitorous'." I want to try to delve into the dynamics of Gay people aligning themselves with today's Republican party, a party that has fostered an anti-Gay agenda that is quite extraordinary from a number of perspectives, not the least being the fact that it regards itself as "conservative," all the while it seeks to limit the human freedom to legally relate to another whom one loves and to whom one seeks to make a lifetime commitment. Why would a Gay person seek to align him/herself with a politcal party and its allies that view same-sex marriage as an assault on "traditional family values," ruining "the sanctity of marriage" (posited by people many of whom have been married more than once or even twice), and who apparently feel no compunction about ridiculing Gay people? I've heard more than one such Republican Gay person say that, although they were Gay, that isn't all they were.  They were not one issue voters, and that their being Gay wasn't the major part of their lives or identities.  Fair enough!  However, let's consider another scenario. If I lived on welfare and food stamps, would it make any sense if I aligned myself with the Democratic Party, for example, if it had as its platform that it was going to do away with welfare and food stamps, and deny those who were on those programs its benefits?  Even though I might not consider my economic situation to be the most important "identity" I had, or the fact that I didn't consider myself to be a one issue voter, would it make any rational sense if I voted for the Democratic ticket if it largely ran on such a platform?  I doubt many would answer, "yes," to this rhetorical question. I really believe that the bombardment of anti-Gay messages throughout our lives in assorted venues, not the least of which is most of the organized Church, has taken hold on many LGBT people's lives and psyches and, even though many are "out," they still harbor a visceral self-loathing that manifests itself by many identifying with their oppressors.  This phenomenon is quite common in a variety of arenas, and it's called "the stockholm syndrome," where the oppressed become emotionally attached to their oppressors. Succumbing to this phenomenon doesn't denote any necessary intentional malice (although the subsequent consequence of that decision can provoke maliciousness) on the part of the victim.  It seems to me that it merely denotes that in order to maintain one's "ego integrity," and one's inner sense of "dignity,"  one feels that he/she must identify with his/her oppressors (though not consciously acknowledging them as such), so as to consciously reject the role of "victim" and embrace the role as being one of their comrades.  Indeed, in this case, "comrades in arms."  (This phenomenon is seemingly quite widespread, as  I remember reading a poll shortly after the last Presidential election that about 23% of LGBT people voted for President Bush who largely ran on the platform of placing an amendment into the Constitution preventing same-sex marriage.) Of course, Gay people, like many of the rest of the population, care about higher taxes (though it could be viewed as  irrational to support a political party that has virtually guaranteed higher taxes to pay for the profligate spending that has occurred in these past several years), limited government (though that, too, is irrational, if one is supporting a party that has grossly intruded on many of the bulwarks of our judicial system, such as habeus corpus, and wiretapping without judicial oversight or even prior approval), and would want to vote accordingly.  However, the reality of today's "conservatives," of today's Republican party, does not address these concerns, and it doesn't take a Democrat or an Independent to point out that fact. Basically, I believe that when one supports a political party that works against that person's very dignity, personhood, and right to pursue happiness that is the right of every human being to enjoy in the U.S., he/she is manifesting his/her conscious and/or unconscious self-loathing in a "Stockholm Syndrome" that not only affirms the party that largely institutionalizes that oppression, but devalues the dignity of the person succumbing to that syndrome and casts him or her as one who is "ignorant and/or mendacious and/or traitorous'."

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REV. EDDIE LONG'S SERMON ON 9/26/2010

Rev. Long said that he was not the man that the TV portrayed him to be, but he never denied during that sermon that he seduced young men; said that he couldn't comment any further on advice of his lawyers.

He portrayed himself as the victim, and never once expressed any compassion for the young men who alleged that he had same-sex relationships with them.  He neither straightforwardly affirmed nor denied those young men's allegations!

Long has deep pockets, as can be seen by his lavish lifestyle and estate, and he may well be counting on that fact to enable him to successfully fight the charges leveled against him.

He likened himself to being David against Goliath, and enjoyed much applause during his brief sermon; it seems to me that his congregation is solidly behind him at this point.

Here is Rev. Eddie Long's sermon addressing the sexual scandal in which he is currently embroiled, followed by assorted commentaries and other related news items:

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REV. EDDIE LONG TO STEP DOWN AMID ALLEGATIONS OF HOMOSEXUALITY

Please read this full article some excerpts of which follow:

In a 2007 report, the Southern Poverty Law Center described Long as "one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement." The report quotes a Long sermon in which he targets lesbian behavior.

"It is the most unattractive thing I have ever seen, when I see women wearing uniforms that men would wear, and women fighting to get in the military!" Long shouted to his congregation then. "The woman gets perverted to turn towards woman … and everybody knows it's dangerous to enter an exit! And everybody knows, lady, if you go to the store and buy these devices [marital aids], it's Memorex! It ain't real!"

The audience, seated in a congested sanctuary, erupts in laughter. [And these haters profess to be Christians and do so with a straight face!] But what Long says next is no joke.

"God says you deserve death!"

Also read this article entitled, “Ministering Treachery”, The Truth Concerning Bishop Eddie Long’s Spiritual Wilderness that further fleshes out this issue.

Again, if these allegations are factual (and I personally believe that they are), the issue isn't his being closeted; it isn't the fact of his hypocrisy.

The issue is the evil perpetrated upon LGBT people by clergy and others who externalize their psychic pain and/or self-loathing and/or hate that resides in their hearts which causes untold damage to LGBT people, and these wolves in sheep's clothing have the temerity to spew their homophobic venom in the name of God.

Venomous homophobic rhetoric spewed in the name of God meets material and/or psychological and/or social needs that are antithetical to anything and everything that Jesus teaches those who are His disciples, and it's high time that all people of good will, Gay or not, understand this very important fact!

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THIRD ACCUSER OF REV. EDDIE LONG COMES FORWARD

UPDATE, 9/24/2010: FOURTH ACCUSER COMES FORWARD.

New pictures have surfaced of Bishop Eddie Long, prominent pastor of a 25,000-member megachurch outside Atlanta, as a third man has come forward accusing the anti-gay advocate of coercing him into sex.

CBS News' Erica Hill reports the pastor allegedly sent his accusers numerous photos of himself including at least several of him wearing spandex and workout clothes....

Long has called for a national ban on same-sex marriage and his church counsels gay members to become straight. In 2004, he led a march with Bernice King to her father's Atlanta grave to support a national constitutional amendment to protect marriage "between one man and one woman." He also has released several gospel albums, authored books on relationships and spirituality, and hosts a weekly television program.

Gillen said Long will speak directly about the allegations to his church congregation Sunday.

[For the full article, see here.]

Assuming these allegations are factually true, Rev. Eddie Long, a strident homophobe, must be confronted not with the fact that he is in the closet; not with the fact that he is a hypocrite, but with the fact that he spoke evil!

It's one thing to be in the closet and keep quiet about LGBT people. It's another thing to be stridently homophobic and seek to enshrine Gay people as second-class citizens in the U.S. Constitution, and Long was doing just that!

Who knows how many lives he's ruined and/or how many suicides, assaults, and murders of LGBT people have occurred because of strident religious homophobes, some or many of whom are closeted?

He should be confronted, not because he's in the closet or because he's a hypocrite! He must be strongly confronted because people like him express evil, and have the temerity to do so in the name of God.

Strident religious homophobes, closeted or not, have blood on their hands, and that fact must never be forgotten!

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FLEE TOXIC CHURCHES AND CLERGY

The following article entitled, Flee Toxic Churches and Clergy was published in the current issue of whosoever.org, and I think it contains a message that all people, LGBT and Straight, need to take to heart.

Whosoever is an excellent online magazine that is primarily geared to LGBT people and allies, and I strongly urge you to read many of its current and past articles.

By attending homophobic churches inhabited by clergy who preach the false gospel of genital placement rather than the only Gospel to be found in Christianity that is comprised of God's grace (unmerited favor) to us that we can only appropriate by trusting God over and above seen circumstances, LGBT people (and all decent people) are submitting themselves to indignities, to a false Christianity, and to humiliation that serves no other purposes than to lend credibility to those heretical clergy and their blind followers, and also exacerbates internalized homophobia within those LGBT people who attend those churches.

I truly believe that any LGBT person who attends a homophobic church, or any church that doesn't allow him/her full participation in the life of the church and the partaking of all of its sacramental rights, to be a masochist!

Why would you seek your "spiritual sustenance" from any church that views you as a second class citizen; views you as "disordered"; seeks to deprive you of equal civil and sacramental rights that heterosexuals enjoy and take for granted; is in the vanguard of discriminating against LGBT people to the point that many LGBT people commit suicide, are assaulted, and are even murdered; stridently lobbies for denying you and others equal civil rights?

And don't delude yourself by saying of a homophobic church that you attend, "It's my church too!" It's not you're church at all! You can't preach from the pulpit; you don't determine church dogma or doctrine; you can't excommunicate anyone! No! It's not your church too!

A true Church is made up of the ecclesia, the called out ones, those called out by God to be God's disciples! And being housed in a building whose clergy espouse legalism, perfectionism, prejudice, discrimination, and affirm through action and/or silence the denial of civil and sacramental rights to anyone does not make one a Christian any more than being in a garage makes one a car!

If you want to be truly emotionally and spiritually intact, and truly live out your authenticity and ministry ordained by God, flee those toxic churches and clergy as fast as your legs can carry you!

The following is my article entitled, Flee Toxic Churches and Clergy:

As I've often written, many clergy within the institutional Church preach and teach the false gospel of legalism, perfectionism, and exclusion and thereby do immeasurable harm to the emotional and spiritual lives of those who allow themselves to be exposed to that kind of toxic religion.

The only Gospel to be found in Christianity is the Gospel of grace (God's unmerited favor); faith (trusting God over and above seen circumstances); love; peace; reconciliation; inclusiveness. Any other gospel is a false gospel!

If you allow yourself to be subjected to preaching and/or teaching other than the Gospel of Christ (the "Good News" that all of our sins have been forgiven by the Sacrifice of Christ), flee those churches, or other such venues, as fast as your legs can carry you!

Moreover, if you take seriously the rhetoric of those who claim to speak for God and for the Bible, and who teach and preach a false gospel, you are not only being subjected to a warped version of Christianity that is really not "Christianity," but you are making decisions about your spiritual and emotional life that are based on lies and perversions of: the grace of God; the teachings, ministry, and Sacrifice of Jesus; the Bible; Christianity itself.

Unfortunately, those who pervert Scripture and the Gospel, those who deny the full and final Sacrifice that Jesus made to cover over all of our sins, are those who spit in the very face of God and seek to impose their false and perverted gospel onto others, falsely taking on the role of being possessors of moral authority; an authority that they do not deserve and which must be given no credibility.

Needless to say that these perverts have done enormous harm, and caused untold suffering, to so many of God's LGBT children!

I recently received an email from someone who wrote of his and his family's heartbreaking experiences in the church that they attend. He said that the pastor preached his reactionary political positions from the pulpit, and he felt depressed at the state of that church that he and his family have faithfully attended for many years.

I wrote him the following reply that I thought you might be interested in reading:

"Thank you for your heartfelt letter to me. You and I share exactly the same sentiments, save for the fact that you view the institutional Church as being equivalent to Christ's Church and I don't. I feel that most of the institutional Church has defamed the name of Christ and, in many cases, has spit in the very face of God through its proclamation of a false gospel of legalism, perfectionism, and exclusion.

"You say, 'My family and I have declared a fasting from TV.' I suggest that you declare a fast from that church you attend, as that pastor is most likely reflecting the ungodly and political sentiments of most of the congregation of that "church."

"He and most of the rest of that congregation are more likely to change you than you are likely to change them.

"Run from such a 'church' as fast as you can! If you can't find a church that is truly reflective of the Gospel of Jesus, then worship with other Christians in a home Bible study or, if that is impossible, it is far better for you and your family to stay home and study the Bible and worship together.

"What you describe is toxic religion, about which I've often written, and is terribly harmful to one's spiritual and emotional life. My very best wishes, Jerry."

You, too, have my very best wishes, and I strongly urge you to not be taken in by the smug, self-righteous teachers of a false gospel that puts unnecessary yokes of bondage on you.

Don't be fooled by the seeming urgency and sincerity of their message that they often profess with an air of oracular authority; a message for which many are quite handsomely rewarded materially and/or psychologically and/or socially and/or politically.

The Gospel of Christ is so simple that even a child can understand it: You have been saved, through the grace of God, from the wrath of a righteous and just God by the sacrifice of God's Son, and by having faith in Christ's teachings and Sacrifice for your redemption and for your eternal reconciliation with God.

That's the Gospel, and it is the Gospel for all of God's children, be they Gay, Straight, Bisexual, or Transgender!

You and I have been saved by the Sacrifice of Jesus; there is nothing we can do to win God's approval, as God already approves of us due to the Sacrifice of Jesus. All we have to do is to plug into God's grace by having faith in Jesus' Sacrifice that covers over all of our sins.

That is why the Gospel is called "Good News!" After all, if we have to obey all sorts of rules, regulations, doctrines, etc., what's the good news in that?

Communicating this message has been one of my major goals, and I just hope that this message gets through so that no one feels condemned by the ignorant and/or hateful homophobic rhetoric that emanates from the lips of all too many clergy and other professing "Christians" who erroneously claim to speak for God.

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CONFRONTING INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA

About two years ago, I wrote the following article that I think is very important if we are to succeed in the struggle for equality for LGBT civil rights. Before meaningful activism to achieve that goal can be undertaken, frivolous displays in Pride parades and in other contexts, and the use of hateful epithets by LGBT people as self-identifiers (eg, "queer," "fag," "dyke," etc.), must be rejected, for they wittingly and/or unwittingly denote abnormality, deviance, shame, and self-loathing; provide additional ammunition for strident homophobes to alienate potential Straight allies who are needed in this fight for equality; divert and subvert needed time and energy from meaningful and coordinated activism; serve as negative role models for future generations of LGBT people and our youth regarding the need to show dignity and engage in meaningful activism that demands full and equal civil and sacramental rights.

And, I must add, exuding, exacerbating, and capitalizing on internalized homophobia are those self-appointed "Gay activists" and their acolytes who confuse being "edgy" with "activism"; who take pride in touting the hateful stereotypes historically and contemporarily used to "justify" discrimination against LGBT people; who value fun and frivolity over and above meaningful activism; who confuse hedonism with being Gay; who show their lack of dignity by allowing their civil rights to be voted upon by the electorate; who delight in viewing themselves as sexual outlaws; who even seem to revel in their status as second-class citizens. Therefore, they are witting and/or unwitting traitors to the struggle for equal rights for LGBT people.

And the sooner these realities are recognized and confronted, the sooner full and equal civil and sacramental rights will become a reality!

My good friend, Don Charles, said it beautifully:

...Before we can effectively arm ourselves to fight organized religion, institutionalized heterosexism and transphobia, an intransigent political system, or whatever, we've got to secure our home front. By “home front”, I mean our self-concept, that place where our much-ballyhooed LGBT pride is supposed to be. There's no Achilles Heel more vulnerable in battle than the belief that your gender or sexuality is screwed up! If we're not prepared to slay the dragon within that preys on our self-esteem, we might as well forget about our Civil Rights and concede the equality struggle right now.

To me, this is the essence of true LGBT activism: unlocking the cages that imprison our minds and souls! Contrary to what you've been told, it ain't never been about pulling "face time" with politicians, getting Straight folks to support us at the ballot box, or courting the mainstream media. It's always been about uprooting our own entrenched shame, which is the most formidable oppressor we'll ever grapple with.

Here is my article entitled, Confronting Internalized Homophobia:

I know right out of the starting blocks that this article is going to offend a great many people, but I feel very strongly that many LGBT people are seriously sabotaging the cause for full and equal civil rights by referring to themselves by the use of historically and current hateful epithets, using such terms as "Queer," "Dyke," "Fag," and other such demeaning and hateful words that have been historically used by their oppressors, and are still being used by their oppressors. Also, the many behaviors and images that are viewed by most potential allies as offensive, and that become public presentations of self, help reinforce the fallacious stereotype that Gay people are sex-obsessed deviant and abnormal hedonists, and these public images are doing tremendous harm to the struggle for, and the cause of acquiring, full and equal civil rights.

I'm Jewish, and not only have I never considered myself a "Kike," or a "Yid," I would verbally assault anyone who would dare use those epithets in referring to me or to any other Jewish person. It's a matter of honor! It's a matter of dignity! It's a matter of having a healthy self-esteem. It's a matter of self-respect.

And there are some Gay people who use self-denigrating and historically offensive epithets as self-identifiers and who articulate them to the world, and by so doing not only show themselves to be lacking in these characteristics, but they are also unwitting victims of a variation of the Stockholm Syndrome where, in this case, one helps provide the very ammunition that one's abuser can and does use to help maintain the oppression of the individual. By so doing, these Gay people are actually knowingly or unknowingly facilitating and enhancing the rage of the homophobes, the oppressive abusers, many of whom would even kill them if they could get away with it. Indeed, some homophobes do assault and kill LGBT people, all the while using these hateful epithets!

The reason that virtually no one would even think of publicly using words like "Kike" and "Yid" is because they know that all Jewish (and all decent) people and organizations would come down on them like a ton of bricks. (Is it even conceivable that any university in the world would have a course, program, minor, or major entitled, "Kike Studies?" Yet it is very common for faculty and students in universities to routinely use and normalize the word "Queer" when titling courses, programs, minors, and majors dealing with Gay issues.)

However, when people use hateful epithets in reference to LGBT people, they not only know that nothing like that will happen, that there will be absolutely no negative or threatening repercussions awaiting them, but they also see there to be nothing wrong with using these hateful epithets, as many of the people about whom they are publicly talking seem to revel in, and frequently use, those words themselves.

So, for example, universities think they are doing Gay people a favor by using those epithets, such as by entitling courses, programs, minors, or majors "Queer Studies" (apparently not realizing, or perhaps even caring, that a meaning of "queer" means "abnormal.") and think that they are thereby being "progressive."

Jews usually don't have self-loathing; LGBT people all too often do have witting or unwitting self-loathing, and use those historically punishing words on themselves in the name of "liberation," ignorantly (or stupidly) thinking that they are appropriating and neutralizing those words, even when gay bashers use those very words when bashing their victims and, furthermore, they even perpetuate and encourage further use of those words among university students when titling those courses, programs, minors, or majors, and freely use those words within the curricula as they do in other public venues.

Like Jesus says: "Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do." At least on the conscious level!

Sanam Hakim wrote an excellent article entitled, "Words you can't reclaim," on the subject of the use hateful expletives regarding certain minority groups. She concludes her article by saying:

"Words like 'nigger' or 'redneck' or 'bitch' or 'fag' were never words that were originally 'good'. They are words that were created solely out of hatred and it is not our responsibility to add fine print and use them in a different context. It is not our responsibility to convince black people that they actually are 'niggaz,' but that it's a good thing; to convince white working class Americans that they are rednecks, but that it's a good thing; to convince women that they are bitches, but that it's a good thing; to convince homosexuals that they are fags, but that it's a good thing.

"It is our responsibility to make sure when Tim McGraw asks if there are any rednecks in the house, no one cheers. It's our responsibility to stare blankly if DMX asks 'where my niggaz at?' It is our responsibility to make sure our children know these words, the history of where they come from and to make sure they don't ever use them, even if they mean it in a nice way."

She gets it!

As I wrote in a February 21, 2008 article entitled, "On The Need To Grow Up":

"There is a point when one has to own his/her dignity, demand the respect due to any human being, demand full and equal civil and sacramental rights regardless of the negative messages and hostility that have been visited on that person in the past, or even in the present. And those goals will not be realized as long as the minority group accepts its inferior status, and revels in it by referring to its members by the very same terms used by the most virulent homophobes throughout history and in our midst.

"No self respecting person, Gay or Straight, stands for being treated as less than fully human; no self respecting person, Gay or Straight, uses negative self-identifiers that have been historically (and contemporarily) used by their oppressors. The slave mentality is blamed on others, but the fact is that it ultimately resides within each human being whether or not to accept that mentality."

I recently received an email from a good friend of mine who wrote me the following:

"I'm just thinking about some of the horrid monikers we've encountered on the 'Net: 'The Old Dyke.' 'The Angry Fag.' 'Queer Kid Of Color'. "Faggoty-Ass Faggot." Straight people see and hear these vulgar identifiers. What do they make of them? Do they feel they have permission to use them, too? What also occurs to me is that these names don't just speak to a shameful feeling about one's gender and/or sexuality; they speak to an obsession with it! … I've been called the 'b' word, the 'p' word, the 'f' word, and just about every dirty slur you can name. I could never in a million years get my mind around 'reclaiming' that kind of ignorance. Yet, I don't consider myself any different from any other Gay man who's grown up in a homophobic society. Why do I react differently?"

I then wrote him the following response, which I know seems harsh, but this issue is crucial enough to demand such harshness and confrontation if the goal of acquiring full and equal LGBT rights is to be realized, particularly when LGBT rights activists are trying to win the hearts and minds of potential allies, and when the future of civil rights for LGBT people, such as the most pressing and immediate issue of the future of same-sex marriage in California will be put to voters in California in November:

I responded to him with the following: "My answer to your question is that …you have integrity and dignity and refuse to be treated as a second-class citizen, and many of them revel in being second-class citizens; you aren't self-loathing; they are self-loathing; they love to vent by cursing the candle and loving the darkness; you want the light of full freedom, and outspokenly light that candle; they are apolitical; you see this as a political and religious struggle; they usually hate God and the things of God; you love God and the things of God; they love this world and the things of this world; you know that God wants liberation from yokes of bondage for all of His children; they frequently suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome; you definitely do not; you have a healthy self-esteem; they feel they deserve to be treated as 'outsiders'; you know you're 'normal'; they view themselves as 'deviants' and are proud of it. As I've said before, they are traitors and saboteurs to the cause of, and struggle for, full and equal civil rights, and you and I, and I'm sure many others, hate traitors and saboteurs to and of those things that anyone who is emotionally intact seeks for themselves and for others."

Regarding their being witting or unwitting traitors to, and saboteurs of, the struggle for full and equal civil rights, they have become mutual allies with the most reactionary homophobic forces in the religious and secular worlds. The religious right and other homophobic forces just love them, for they manifest their fear and self-loathing by engaging in rhetoric and behaviors that are wittingly or unwittingly designed to alienate potential allies in the fight for full and equal civil rights, and provide these homophobic leaders with their needed ammunition to shore up their base of homophobes, be they in the "religious" or political arenas.

All a James Dobson, a Ken Hutcherson, a Pete LaBarbera, a Pat Robertson, or any number of other religious homophobes have to do is exhibit one or more of countless images of blatant and public hedonism (fulfilling and reinforcing the ugly stereotype that Gay = Abnormal; Gay = hedonism; Gay = deviant; Gay = immorality; Gay = perverted, etc.) to show those who might be on the fence regarding the acquisition of full and equal civil and sacramental rights for LGBT people that their hateful rhetoric has been correct after all. One cannot present public images that are patently and frequently deliberately offensive and even threatening to potential allies and then expect them to embrace and support full and equal civil rights for LGBT people who are all too often solely identified with those images!

In essence, the professional homophobes, many of whom make a veritable career out of homophobia, can then say to our potential allies, while showing them such images, "See, I told you what homosexuals are like. I told you how destructive they are to the very fabric of society and to civilization as we know it. I told you that they are not fit to be around children. They even want, and sometimes even have, the right to adopt and raise children. They seek to destroy Christianity and our Judeo-Christian way of life and will succeed unless we fight against this evil. And they even want their perverted lifestyle sanctified by law by insisting that they be allowed to marry one another. Before you know it, these people will want to marry their own children. Would you put anything past them after looking at these pictures that represent only a fraction of what they do and what they are?"

And we are to make no mistake: that's exactly what religious homophobes do, and continue to do, by proudly presenting blatant exhibitions of hedonism by some Gay people, further exacerbated by the use of pejorative epithets as self-identifiers by many Gay people that merely reinforce the hateful stereotypes and hateful rhetoric of the homophobes in "justifying" to as many as will listen the evidence as to the "deviance," the "otherness," the "abnormality" of LGBT people.

These epithets and images thereby confirm and reinforce the hateful rhetoric that is spewed by powerful religious homophobes in all sorts of venues, from the pulpit to the media, and serves no better purpose than to provide these religious homophobes with further ammunition that they need and use to sway potential allies away from our cause for equal rights.

Hence, the use of these epithets and the projection of these images that are viewed as offensive (many of which are seemingly designed to be offensive) by most people who conceivably make up our pool of potential allies, makes the purveyors of those epithets and images collaborators with the religious reactionary homophobes; making them partners in the goal of preventing the acquisition of full and equal civil and sacramental rights for LGBT people and their families.

Of course, confirmed homophobes will not be persuaded to become affirming of LGBT people no matter what we do or what we say! However, our concern must be winning over potential allies, those who might be on the fence and confused about this whole issue of LGBT rights. And the rhetoric and images used and projected for public consumption by self-loathing traitors are sabotaging that goal, by their being witting or unwitting allies with those very influential homophobes, by helping to do the homophobes' work for them.

By portraying Gay people as Godless, hedonistic, sexually obsessed individuals who revel in being "abnormal," and who pridefully display depictions that seem designed to offend all decent and religious people, virtually guarantees that those who engage in these practices are the allies of the avowed enemies of LGBT rights who stupidly feel free to vilify and even ridicule and make jokes about LGBT people, knowing that they will be greeted with hearty applause and laughter by their audiences, be they homophobic or potential allies.

Regarding the dynamics of those who manifest self-loathing and the unwillingness or the inability to directly confront the enemies of full civil rights and civil liberties, I absolutely think that seeing themselves as being forever "outsiders" and who revel in that outsider status by manifesting counter-productive and even risk-taking behaviors gives them a sense of security! It enables them to avoid confronting the horrifying fact that they are viewed by the oppressor as inferior, and in order to anesthetize themselves from that reality, they find a seemingly "legitimate" reason to bond with other like-minded people in a subculture that they wish to make a counterculture so as to both affirm themselves (which is understandable) but also insulate themselves from the insults and, at least at this point in their lives, they don't have the ego strength or the will to directly confront their oppressor in a politically meaningful and constructive way.

Hence, not only the use of denigrating epithets about themselves and their very identities, and their often egregious public displays that are bound to offend potential allies, but their rage at anyone who would dare suggest that by so doing they are helping to destroy themselves and their right to be treated with dignity and respect by those oppressors; telling them that by so doing they are witting or unwitting allies of those oppressors.

Because that would mean coming out of their cocoon, confronting a very harsh and even frightening reality, and having to confront both their own homophobia as well as the homophobia that would be visited upon them in direct proportion to their public and consistent demands that they be treated with full respect and as fully equal to their oppressor, and demand the acquisition of the very same rights that their oppressor enjoys.

That takes guts, and ego strength, and too many feel themselves to be too vulnerable, too wounded, to engage in the necessary fight for full and equal civil rights. Hence, to not confront that reality, and to not admit that they are too cowardly to fight the necessary battles for full and equal rights, they create a world where they demean themselves and create the rationalization for that demeaning of themselves by stating that they are doing so to merely appropriate, reclaim (Although those hateful words have never been renounced by the oppressor in the first place.), and neutralize those hateful words, and thereby claim that they are "liberated."

It's a profound tragedy, no matter how we look at it.

But it's a tragedy that must be confronted, overcome, and renounced so that positive, coordinated grassroots activism can occur, in conjunction with the increased assertiveness needed by major LGBT rights organizations, so that increasing numbers of potential allies can be recruited in the fight for equal rights; other LGBT people can become emboldened to demand that they be treated with dignity and demand nothing less than full and equal civil rights that are enjoyed by every other citizen; political savvy and activism be substituted for the counterproductive use of hateful epithets and the assorted public displays of images that denote and communicate a patently offensive public persona virtually designed to drive away allies and thereby sabotage the movement for full and equal civil rights.

As I've written before, such grassroots activism on the part of LGBT people and allies would take the form of "picketing homophobic churches (and there are plenty to choose from!), writing letters to the editors of their local newspapers, having groups of Gay couples who seek to marry continuously demand the same marriage rights as their heterosexual counterparts, speaking out to neighbors and friends, boycotting businesses that in any way discriminate against Gay people, and other such modes of activism to aid and abet the cause of acquiring full and equal civil rights!"

Only then will the homophobic oppressor be forced back under the rock from which he or she came, and the acquisition of full and equal civil and sacramental rights will become a reality!

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AN OPEN LETTER TO POTENTIAL STRAIGHT ALLIES OF LGBT PEOPLE

Last year, I wrote the following article that I'd like to reprint here:

There are to be no second-class citizens in the United States! We established a long time ago that "separate is not equal," and all American citizens are entitled to enjoy equality under the law. Any society that presumes to refer to itself as "decent" and "civilized" must not in any way discriminate against any group of people through its laws or their enforcement.

We should have learned this painful lesson during the struggle for African American civil rights, and we must now apply that lesson in this struggle for full and equal civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (hitherto referred to as LGBT) people. LGBT people are entitled to the same rights and privileges that accrue to all other citizens of the United States

Gay people are certainly entitled to full and equal civil rights, including the right to marry! The lies and other nonsense purveyed by many self-proclaimed arbiters of "morality," often cloaked in the guise of religion, that same-sex marriage destroys "the sanctity of marriage" is ludicrous on its face!

I have been married to my wife for 47 years, and I can't see how same-sex marriage will in any way negatively impact my marriage or in any way destroy the sanctity of my marriage! No rational person can believe that same-sex marriage in any way compromises the institution of marriage, an institution that has taken many forms in our history.

As a Christian, I am profoundly embarrassed and outraged by those professing Christians who are in the vanguard of discrimination against LGBT people; who spew hateful rhetoric, borne out of their ignorance and/or their hatred and/or their avariciousness, that is diametrically opposed to anything Jesus said, lived, or taught to all who would claim to be His disciples! Indeed, Jesus saved His harshest words for those who claimed to be "godly" and yet sought to put yokes of bondage onto others!

Christians love other people, and the only Gospel to be found in Christianity is comprised of: grace (God's unmerited favor to us), faith (trusting God over and above seen circumstances), love, peace, reconciliation, and inclusiveness. There is no other Gospel!

Jesus makes it abundantly clear that we are to love and not judge or condemn others! Any professing Christian who thinks that he/she is representing Jesus by doing the very opposite of what Jesus told us to do is not only seriously misled, but is woefully misleading the public, many of whom are gullible enough to take the purveyors of the false gospel of legalism and perfectionism seriously.

Moreover, we are under the Constitution of the United States and we are not a Theocracy! Since when are we to take a group of people's understanding of the Bible, an "understanding" far more informed by their preconceived prejudices than it is by anything else, and enshrine those prejudices into our laws of the land; impose those prejudices onto a minority group that all too many professing Christians and others view as being relatively "safe" to persecute?

The discrimination against LGBT people in the names of "Christianity," "morality," "tradition," "the well being of our children," and any other specious reasons given for this oppression has many of us saying: "Enough is enough!" We're not going to take it anymore!

For those of us who are Christians, we are sick and tired of having those who would hate and/or discriminate against others presume to speak for us! For those of us who are heterosexual, we are sick and tired of watching our LGBT sisters and brothers be oppressed! For those of us who are LGBT, we are sick and tired of being viewed and treated as second-class citizens, denied marital and other rights and benefits that heterosexual tax paying citizens are given and take for granted.

In sum, LGBT rights activists demand full and equal civil rights that every other citizen of the United States possesses, and we won't rest or stop until that goal is achieved!

In this connection, you might also be interested in reading the following article that I wrote ten years ago that is entitled, A MESSAGE OF GRACE TO A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST.

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SISTER PAULA'S SERMON ON THE SINS OF SODOM

As you probably know, I'm a great fan of Sister Paula whose messages never fail to inspire. This message of hers entitled, "The Sins of Sodom," seemingly largely referenced from the eminently scholarly book entitled, Gay Christian 101 by Rick Brentlinger, is excellent, as it shows the lies propounded by many homophobic clergy and professing Christians that are falsely, ignorantly and/or mendaciously used by them to seek to justify their prejudices against LGBT people.

Homophobic professing Christians create God in their own dysfunctional image, and we must never forget this truth!

Moreover, I strongly urge you to own Rick Brentlinger's book that is both scholarly, comprehensive, and eminently readable, as it will finally lay to rest any doubts you may have regarding fallacious Christian objections to homosexuality and to LGBT people!

PLEASE CLICK ON THIS LINK TO BE BOTH BLESSED AND EDUCATED BY SISTER PAULA REGARDING THE FACT THAT THE SINS OF SODOM, THAT ARE OFTEN USED BY PROFESSING HOMOPHOBIC CHRISTIANS, HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH HOMOSEXUALITY OR LGBT PEOPLE.

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BEING GAY IS A GIFT FROM GOD

Several years ago, I wrote the following article that is slightly edited for reprinting here:

Gay-affirming congregations understand the Gospel of inclusiveness that puts all of us in the same tent for worship and ministry.

To be able to love another person is a gift from God! As human beings we have the capacity to love another person, putting that other personís feelings and interests ahead of our own. This is agapao in the Greek and is the word Jesus uses when He commands His disciples to love others.

Yet, in addition to agapao, there is also eros and phileo. Eros is love based upon pleasure and phileo is love based upon reciprocity of feelings and actions. In other words, phileo occurs when one loves the other if that love is reciprocated and doesnít love the other when that love is not reciprocated. Most of the world operates on eros and phileo! Christians are called upon to exercise agapao!

However, in our intimate relations, eros is also very important! It is the bonding of two souls and bodies in love that is faithful and enduring. The Gay couple well understands this bonding!

Troy Perry was a Pentecostal-Baptist minister at a very young age. He knew he was gay and tried to smother his feelings. He even attempted suicide! Fortunately, he was found after slashing his wrists, taken to a hospital and survived. He then realized that God doesnít create someone whom He can sit around and hate. God created Troy Perry, just like He created all of His gay and lesbian children! Troy Perry went on to start the Metropolitan Community Churches which particularly ministers to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender communities. They are world wide and have an Internet site.

The Bible doesnít condemn same-sex love! In a previous article I wrote in the "Sacramento Valley Mirror" in which I have a weekly column entitled, "Christianity and Society," I elucidated the passages traditionally used to condemn Gay people and showed that they dealt in a context of the need to propagate, with idolatry and exploitation, as well as with acts against nature where heterosexuals engage in homosexual acts undoubtedly to various pagan deities. Nowhere in the Bible is same-sex committed love condemned!

The last bastion of the civil rights movement is the stigma and exclusion of Gay people from our churches and from our secular society. Yet, they can be seen to be a gift to us from God in that, despite their terrible persecution, many remain steadfast in their loving relationships. Despite all of the barriers set up by Christians and non-Christians alike, many remain in committed relationships.

Being constitutionally Gay is not a disorder any more than having brown eyes is a disorder! Most Gay people have been born that way and like the old Sunday School saying goes, "God doesn't create junk!"

If you're Gay, you have been blessed by God in that you are capable of loving another human being. The most dangerous people in the world are those who either have nothing to lose or who are incapable of loving others. There is no reason not to assume that God blesses the monogamous Gay couple every bit as much as He blesses the heterosexually married couple!

As Jesus said to the Scribes and Pharisees, we make void the Word of God by our traditions (Matthew 15:3,6,9) Mere fallible human beings interpreted the Bible to condemn same-sex unions! Mere human beings call being Gay an "affliction" and Gay sex as "intrinsically evil."

Many Gay people walk around with guilt and shame because they think that they are condemned before God and their fellow man. Read the Bible with new eyes, taking account of the most recent biblical scholarship (See, for example, The New Oxford Annotated Bible), and see for yourself that God created you just as you are and He affirms and loves you just as you are. God shows far more grace than do mere human beings!

If you're Gay, you have been given the gift of the capacity to love by God, your creator. Don't take that gift lightly and don't deny it as a gift from God.

You have the capacity to love another human being, and nothing is more sacred or godly than that.

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