My friend, Don Charles, wrote a post entitled, "Potty Training," on his excellent blog Christ, The Gay Martyr. It deals with the nature of same-sex love and Gay identity, and the need to have that love and identity be viewed as fully equal and respectable as is opposite-sex love and heterosexual identity.
Don Charles says that attempts to justify the trysts that occur in public places by those who either do or don't consider themselves "Gay" not only mitigates against this long sought after goal for full and equal civil and sacramental rights for Gay people, but also mitigates against a true understanding of the dynamics and legitimacy of what it means to be Gay. Such attempted justification that often takes the form of talking about the "fluidity of sexuality," consigns one's status of being Gay to merely being a matter of "choice," that is all too frequently believed by those who would love to show one's sexual identity as being a "choice," thereby reaffirming their homophobia and all the stereotypes that are part and parcel of that homophobia.
Don Charles writes this post with his inimitable style and great insights and it certainly deserves serious consideration by all people, be they Gay, Gay and Gay rights activists, or Straight people who seek further understanding of this subjct. The following is a snippet of his excellent post, that can be found here:
"I seriously doubt that early Gay Rights activists put their lives and livelihoods on the line so that Gay men could claim a "right" to tryst in the potty. I damn sure don't write this blog for that reason! I write it so that LGBT folk will gain the courage to ignore self-destructive compulsions. I write it so that we'll stop thinking of ourselves in purely sexual terms. I write it so that Gay identity will become as respectable in the public mind as Straight identity is. Some folks, Straight and Gay, don't like those reasons. They've told me so. They can go kiss where the sun don't shine! A few of 'em are probably in the habit of doing that, anyway. I want Gay couples to kiss in the sunshine, the way all loving couples should. I want them to feel entitled to the sunshine! No more hiding. No more sneaking around in the dark. No more hanging around in toilets as if we were waste products. We must leave that kind of degrading behavior behind us. We don't belong in the potty, and neither does our love."